Beach bag packed, the simpler the better: towel, cold icy water, dorky green hat (dorky but it coordinates with the green in my bathers), sunscreen, book - sweet ready to go.
Although it was only mid-morning families had already arrived, unpacking picnics, shade tents set up, games of cricket in progress, frisbees flying from one person to another.
I make my way down to the beach, spread my towel on the already hot sand, dispose of skirt and top, off with the glittery (still coordinating, yes I am sad like that) thongs (aka flip flops), smear sunscreen on one's pale body, hat plonked on head, lay back with book in hand. Ahh total bliss.
Total bliss about to be disturbed.
No sooner had I reached page two, than I felt a sensation on my bent leg. A crawling sensation. Book down, slowly raises top of body up onto elbow.... crap! A spider. Alright it might only have been maybe 3cm long in body length but it's still a darned spider.
Ok, I've grown up in Australia, I should be used to spiders. But HELL no, they still scare the crap out of me, and no amount of chasing me around the house with a huntsman (think of the movie Arachnophobia), in his hand, by my dad to try and de-sensitise me (that's my story I'm sticking to it, even though I am fully aware of the laughter that eminated from him while doing this as I screamed the house down) worked.
The panic is starting to rise, my mind is beginning to whirl, contrary to the calm coolness I am portraying to the outside world at this stage.
Spiders here don't live on the beach, they have no affinity with the surf, surf boards, buckets and spades. So where did this one appear? Maybe it jumped from one of the trees, in my bag, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce, while walking up from the bbq / picnic area and why on me (yes non-rationale thoughts).
Think, think, think.... no it's not working, just can't think, what if this spider is beginning to feel the panic building up in me and can sense it easing through my pores and out of it's own survival instinct it bites me? Up my thigh and over my knee it crawls.
I slowly raise my body further, without moving my leg, so I can keep an eye on it.
What if I reached for my thong and whacked it? Ok two problems: although they scare the life out of me, I don't like killing spiders, crazy I know, but it's bad luck for starters and they do serve a useful purpose (as long as they keep to their own territory and not raid mine), like getting rid of mosquitoes and flies; the second what if it survives the whack, or I miss and it bites me out of retaliation?
Likewise, if I try and just gently swish it off me with a thong, yeah right, like a spider is going to let me just swish it off, it will cling mercifully to my thong and then drop on my stomach on the return swing, I can just see it now, sinking its fangs into me.
Why did I have to pick a beach that was not notorious for life-threatening rips so did not have ab ripped, blond, speedo clad (ok speedo clad doesn't do it for me, but at this stage I need a hero, speedos or not) life savers nearby?
Then all of a sudden the spider jumps. Jumps right off, from my calf onto the sand underneath. The relief comes swelling in. My wit returns, before it has chance to head towards my other leg, or to my foot, survival tells me I need to move my legs out of this eight-legged creature's way.
Oh how dumb, um panic-stricken, am I? Spiders don't just jump, they abseil on a strand of web. How could I have forgotten that! To create a web, they release their gossamer-fine, invisible threads to the world, allowing the breeze / wind to carry it to the next closest object.
So as I bring my leg up to get it out of the spider's way, the spider rises in unison with it. Leg lowers, spider lowers, leg rises, spider rises.
Panic starts all over again.
This is not good, I'm not getting away from the spider. Then the spider starts to make its own way back up the web thread, towards my leg again. Leg lowers and rises quicker, in an attempt to shake spider off. No doesn't work. Book? Yes book, I can use book to try and dehook spider and leg. Leg lowers and rises, book sweeps back and forth underneath, between leg and spider... and no I don't really care at this stage what I am looking like to the rest of the beach, with my uncoordinated, aerobic moves. I am a survivor and I refuse to allow a spider to get the better of me (false bravado here).
Plan works, finally we are detached. My legs quickly tuck underneath me away from spider.
I watch for its next move (and direction of move). However, I think the heat from the sand takes it's toll on the spider and it crawls up into a ball and doesn't move again. Feeling slightly guilty (I really don't like killing spiders) but relieved, I lay back down again, continue reading my book and enjoy watching the sea.
Yes, no other perfect way than to start the new year off than vegging at the beach, ahhhhh.
EWWWWWWWW.....So glad I didnt know about the spider. My skin is crawling with the thought. Great pics tho. Hugs
ReplyDeleteSurvival of the fittest.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that spider is part of an international spider plot to devalue beach front property...so glad you survived the greedy little bastard :-) P.S. there's still snow on the ground here, the spider would need snow shoes!
ReplyDeleteFortunately Mynx, although the spider episode felt like a lifetime, when it was over I certainly enjoyed the beach.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say Don, one of my legs is certainly fit after the workout it had.
Chief Dad, would you believe, I checked real estate prices this morning, and beach front properties have been devalued, greatly!!! You are onto their plot. Ok, spiders with snow shoes, now you have me giggling :).
twilight, what I meant is that you were fit enough to endure the sand, heat, and sun, but the spider apparently wasn't.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you that it's so hot? Me want! It's so cold here in London - saying that the cold seems to scare spiders away so you won't find any here :)
ReplyDeleteA very Happy and hopefully spider free New Year to you!
Notwithstanding the spider episode, it looks like you had a fantastic day. :-)
ReplyDeletehttp://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/
Oh Don, sand, heat and sun I thrive in, unlike the spider.
ReplyDeleteHi Marsy, I'm in Perth, and it's just perfect weather. Ironically, the worst spider incident I had (a lot bigger spider someone ended up on me) was when doing the "Aussie living abroad for a year" thing when I was younger, in the northern parts of the UK! Thank you, hope you have a wonderful New Year too.
Hello there Fickle Cattle, it was a fantastic day, so relaxing after the hustle and bustle of Christmas and New Years eve.
<3 <3 Love the bather shot ;P <3 <3
ReplyDeleteThank you Arnold... now for some warmer weather to get the bathers out again :)
ReplyDelete